Every Episode of Every Star Trek Series, Ranked: Umbrage Mitigation

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I get it. Star Trek fans like to nitpick. The Internet is not known for its thoughtful and polite discourse. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done this whole thing in the first place…


Well, I did. After seeing some of the articles linked below, I wondered how I would rank Star Trek. And, because it’s how I roll, I wanted to make sure other people could more easily rank their favorite episodes.

(I by no means advocate trying to rank ALL the episodes of Trek unless you have a lot of free time and an understanding family.)

Still, some of you may have umbrage, so here are some modest suggestions:

Call me a Denebian Slime Devil
There’s a whole menagerie of creature insults in Star Trek lore, but this has to be one of the best. I feel worse for being compared to Denebian Slime Devil and I’m not even sure what one is (I could check, I suppose). That has to make you feel better.

Point out Playboy’s ranking of every episode is more irreverent
I’ll always be a bit more Prarie Home Companion than Playboy, so there’s no chance I’ll have ’em beat on the naughtiness scale there. But really, Jordan Hoffman has some quality snark amid the summaries — and both his love and knowledge of Trek is always on display. Obviously, you might want to avoid checking it out at most workplaces that monitor you like the Obsidian Order, but Trekkers should find it a fun read.

Note: I’ve learned this link isn’t working and I’ve yet to find a working one, but if you want to learn how author Jordan Hoffman tackled it, you can read more about his methodology here.

Point to io9’s top 100 list as being way more informed.
If you want to ignore all the clearly awful Trek, this is also a great list. Obviously I have some different thoughts on the top spots — and I hope some of the descriptions of the stinkers were entertaining.

Point to AV Club’s Episode Guides as more thoughtful
Hey, they do The Next Generation too. I really like these guides, even where I don’t agree with the grades. I really don’t have the time to do as lengthy an entry on each episode though.

Do your own ranking
Really, that’s the whole purpose of putting this out into the world. If I was going to go through all the trouble of sharing this, I had to make it a bit easier for you to make your own rankings. That’s how I roll. I think I read that in a Starfleet manual somewhere.

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